THE ATHEIST

It's year 2015, as my regular routine, I would wake up in the morning and read Vijaya Karnataka news paper. The news was all about suicides of farmers, rapes, fighting for reservations or religions, female infanticide, political blaming. Reading news only used to increase anger, anger on injustice, people, society and anger on self on not able to do anything which might have made me into a poet. Seeing all those injustice, my question was whether God whom the people say would punish bad people would really exist?

There are also other reasons, I started to doubt his existence. It was superstitious beliefs of people around me, they still believed in superiority based on caste system. They were saying to not consume non-veg on certain days, if consumed God will punish. They were saying not to ask questions about such issues like existence of God, caste or other beliefs as they believe in it which was passed on from their elder generations, if so God will punish. Well, there definitely arised the doubts of God much more. Is God a sadist, to create inequalities among people based on their caste? Is God a dictator to punish us for asking about him or not praying him or for having independent thoughts? Is God so stone hearted to make our life miserable just for not following some rituals? Is God a govt officer, who takes bribes from people to fulfil their wishes? Or, is God just the creation of humans to control others by envoking fear within them? Does God really exist?

It's 2024, lot has been changed. I have been chanting mantras everyday, started to read scriptures. Everyday trying to talk and discuss about him a bit, wanting to write his stories. Having a dreams which looks more like communicating with God.

You might ask me, what has changed you and have you got your answers for the above questions. Well, I will answer all those questions in next blog. This blog was to introduce you to the atheist in me.